I Can Barely Say

Haven't came here to say my words for a while and my once again emotions brought me here tonight..

A quarter of 2013 passed, and i am glad; maybe not very much, to be here in MAY already.
The way it brought me at least to my current state and situation now, weren't easy. It came along with rather big handful of painful realization and lessons learned.

I met people who are half real half superficial, the predictable yet unpredictable and of course the many other unforeseeable types which at times I just handle along the way..

Everyday is about people in my life survival book.
In my job, i often deal with people's demands and expectations.
Coming along with their emotions at times..

It is only after which, I have to manage line in line with my own emotions and my ability in balancing both.
Because neither nor can be brought down.

Everyday is about moving on when i am without work.
I no longer cry at my vulnerable time when people are around.
I no longer sit down, weep and figure what can be done to salvage anything.
I no longer blame anything anyone, except myself.

I only start to relate and understand even much more through this period.

It is still amazing to me how much You can mean to me, still.
It is still tasked as one of the most difficult assignment; forgetting You.

Funnily, I still wish i could love You even more if ever i am given a chance.

I am getting better, really.
Stronger, very much as a person.

I wouldn't say i am happy alone now.
Because it sucks to be who i used to be.
And You seen it all my worst.

There are tons and tons of things i wish i could tell you.
Tons and tons of things i do, i still often wish you were around.

And everytime i think of you, i really wish i do sometimes cross your mind..