I Dont Like The Way It Burns!

With company's lappy, on Baby's bed and with him by my side tonight. It just can't get any better on a Wednesday. (other than just plain fun and happening drinking or ladies night)
But, it may not be the best Wednesday for Bb i can be assured. At least not before he leaving for his Thailand trip as soon as next week. With a fucked up rifle that hit right spot on his head this morning, causing a 3 stitched torture!
For once, i hope this weekend dun come by so fast. Because once it ended, its also time to send my boyfriend away for weeks. Which also means i can jolly well not look forward to a few weekends and definitely spending it alone this Hari Raya Holiday.
On the flipside, it just tells me that its time to set activities for myself while hes away. Healthy, beneficial and logical ones that is.

I can no longer differentiate whats good whats not coming from one anymore.
She may be there to block off certain unnecessary burden, back me up when needed. But does that comes in a package, hand in hand with giving me shit?
Shit do happens. For my case, it always happen. So much so that i find it hard to stay any more stronger. Believe me when i say i really still am holding on strong. Believe me when i really really meant strong. I only seems to let loose of emotional tears in front of Bb which somewhat makes me feel less stronger after all the attempting effort of being strong.
I am focusing and stressing in the wrong direction, thats all i can conclude for myself, for now.

All i need is now is just some proper rest tonight at such desired place. Having to spend a Wednesday here is simply a indescribable feeling.

Yes, i dun care what i gonna get the next day. I just wan to get tomorrow off from RSA!

Lucien is Half Way Through

To his 1st!

HAPPY 6th MONTHS LUC LUC!!!!

credit to: Lucien's daddy.

I am totally hating my camera now. Poor quality of images, just anything bad i can name from it.
That explained why all photos are now coming from Sisters' camera and that also taken up part of the excuses for not blogging timely.
(Hes 7th Month Old now!)

Cake was drawn by the Father, paid by the Eryi. (needless to say anything about the mother. carrying the tittle of the MOTHER should weight more than anything on earth.)
Xiaoyi leh!? Sorry Luc.. I contributed nothing this 6th Month of yours.
Not that i didn't want to, the timing was just too bad for me.
I wont explain further because i believe you and i and all of us want to speak louder with actions!
So no doubt your 1st, my 22nd birthday will be much more extensively contributed!

I still love you Lucluc. Please dun lost the bond with me for too long. :(

"I am 4years Old"

YES YOU ARE.
HAPPY 4TH BIRTHDAY CADDYYYYYYY!!!

i just got abit too happy to see this.
ITS FRUITS, and COLOURS!

Baby was casually bringing something up and we realised how time flies.
Cadence is 4 finally. And recalling back the times when we were overjoyed that his sis was pregnant and then her 1st then her subsequent growing up birthdays going forward......

She is no doubt mischievous, but definitely more tamed now already..
Her priceless expressions always make us laugh.
HAPPY SWEET 4TH CADDY!

We Dance On- N-Dubz

If only this song can motivate me for real..


Watch me while I stand here
Watch my feet, my stance, my body language
I’m not someone to be messed with
I’m a fox on a mission
You know you’re challenging the best here

It’s gonna be real hard
But I’m gonna be okay
As long as I try real hard
I’m always gonna find my way

Ima stand up like a soldier
Ima get them till it’s over
I’ll keep marching to the beat
till there’s bruises on my feet
Now I’m falling to my knees

Cause I’m gonna take this all the way
It’s now or never
I’ll break what’s in my way
Ima stand up like a soldier
Tonight I’m gonna take over

Cause I know everything’s gonna be alright
Now you’re standing here right by my side
And we dance on, dance on, we gonna dance on
Ain’t gonna work for life when we know we can dance on

Everything’s gonna be okay
The streets will lighten up our way

Not in a million years
Did I think my feet would bring me this far
So much frustration, sleepless nights
Now that I’m in charge
At first no one gave me the time of day
Now I’m left on my own to show the way

Could of kicked us to the curb
These days are so hard to get heard
We gonna stand up like a soldier
Take everything we deserve (trust)
At first everyone was cautious

When we brought in something new
But after weeks of practicing
We knew exactly what to do

Boar's Wedding Shoot

HAHAHAHAHAHAHH

our hungry bride.

My legs ended the trip with all the ugly bites, itched me all the way and even left scars! (fading by now)
Very tiring and energy-straining one actually, but definitely looking forward to the wonderful outcome. Hopefully this "perfectionist" sister of mine is contented enough.
She looked wonderful but well, at some point of time, i may not entirely blame her cos, its a
ONCE IN A LIFETIME thing afterall..

BUT STILL, spare a thought for me and poor horsy, YOUR MAJESTY BOAR!
With too much precision wont necessary bring you to the whole big picture of perfection, our dear boar. Because you are already looking good now, and everything is already close to perfect.
BUT YET AGAIN, we still be here no matter what. :)

And we are equally excited to the countdown of your big day, deep-heartedly.
(stop saying we are not! it would be crap if we keep saying we are! that's what we call FAKE.)

Love you boarboarkuluku.

I've Got Your Back

(The same goes for a blackberry for all of the following shots. Dun expect too much of the quality on a phone.)

heres something small i got him on a
weekday after work.
I noe he loves it.

You think I'm pretty Without any makeup on
You think I'm funny When I tell the punchline wrong
I know you get me So I let my walls come down
Before you met me I was a wreck but things Were kinda heavy
You brought me to life

Good times always pass faster than e usual don't we all have to agree. I think i am so cocked up with the repetitive hard effort to cope and hold on to everything tat it affected my period, again.

The planned retail therapy with Bb was awesomely fulfilled this weekend. Why does the process of spending money always felt so heavenly? But the aftermath could only hurt the wallet and suffer a heart stoppage anytime? WALAO EH.

I was suppose to follow Boar's shoot this morning and i noe i had to put her aeroplane. I just wasnt in any right condition or maybe, mood i should say. I am sorry and i hope she dun hold it against me for long.
If im still that naive and carefree "Fatla", this wont happen for sure..
Oh, where's that "Fatla" i referred to now.. :(

We always part each other as if we are not gonna see each other forever. We still have another 2 more weekends before his Thailand trip comes about.
One thing i am still jumping around in joy now is none other than our plan. Coming right up this September! Please, i really needed that! We needed that badly..

Is Monday again, and i have so much left undone. How come nothing seems to get better?
Just when i am emotionally getting lower while typing, something just brought me to a smile! Boar showed me a shot of Lucien today!

Hes getting cuter.. And.. I definitely miss playing with him and babysitting him, really.
I miss carrying one big bag and a pram around with Horsy.
I miss keeping track of the feeding time. (every 3-4hours)
I miss watching him kicks and cries for his milk.
I miss watching him sleep with his face sticking right next to my breast.
I miss how much he laugh whenever i started dancing and doing all sort of weird poses.
I miss how he stared and focus into my eyes and then he went, "agoooo"
etc.

Please dun forget Xiaoyi ok?
I am still in the midst of stabling... :(

Love you, Lucien boy.

Love you, Baby Bryan.

(who cares about looking good when we have Lucien the good looking boy?)

:)