Sorry

I am sorry for all the wrongs i haven't been doing right.
I am sorry for all the hurtful things i have said to you without considering where it will lead us.
I am sorry for things that happened.
I am sorry i did not love you the way you wanted me to.
I am sorry for scaring you off with the way i love you.
I am sorry for failing in the years.

I wish my sorry really shows something to you, i wish. 

I have so much to tell you but it all just didn't come out right with you.

Last night, all i could ever do was to at least see you for the last time.
I broke down in tears after seeing Uncle because he unknowingly brought back our memories too.

Forgiveness was no longer that something i wanted out from you anymore. I could barely feel your love for me, maybe you are really right. It was long gone..

There is something i wish you would really believe despite the lost gone trust you have on me;
I really love you for as long as i am here and as long we have been in this. It really has been with me all the while.
You are right, i was never always showing it or even saying it. Because i took such a long way to see that i was too blinded and overly-concerned by our outcome and deeply neglected our process..

I once said, i lost the directions for us. I was so helpless so troubled; but never once wanted to lay it out on the table with you and make you part of the resolving team.
I kept wishing everything could move even faster and further for us. I always always wish.

My way of loving you was something that got you too suffocated, too stressful.
I hope one fine day we can really sit down together with a peace of mind and a open heart to feel each other's love all over again. 

I cannot wait for that day to come or rather, even if it wouldn't come one day, you will still always and forever be the only one i ever want to keep loving..

I guess it's pretty understandable that such love of mine can never be given to any other anymore, not anymore.

I am sorry...