There appeared a young couple, prolly about 18 or 19 years old when i was on my bus ride home after work. They sat near me and casually took out their mobiles and started snapping away. Fucking beat the fuck out of me ok, all sort of memories came flowing in. Something to add to magnify the picture, i just hung up the phone with Bb and i was crying the fuck out of me too.
Not that we had a bad relationship, not that we were going through some kinda breaking up, not anything that anyone could probably think of, out from the surface.
Maybe i should put it this way, what is me when all that makes me up is not exactly myself but actually someone stronger? Which in turn leads to the ultimate million dollar question here; what am i here for in precise?
I was literally being thrown into a place or typically classified as a long drama series that gonna be directed and will only be in continuation if i ever know how to. This is when i meant being ever strong, stronger.
Many a time, i mentioned about how much i wish i could be this and that, that and this. Just how much this is going to help? To be honest not very much helpful. But i can be extremely assured on my part that i did at a certain point, preached what i said.
I was on a Management Development course from my company last week and guess what. Here is one golden catchphrase which i brought home at the end of it and i will be bringing it everywhere i go, hopefully.
"I can't give you the formula for success but i can give you the formula for Failure. Trying to please everyone."
Regardless at work, in life, for yourself and for anyone..
Just before this was strike, my colleagues who were there at the course, mentioned this to me when i poured out what was in botheration of me at work.
Everyone hears it even when they dun see it. I really starts to doubt my own ability very much. So much so that i am in such a low morale each day at work, with people, at home and even when i am with Bb.
Teaching me to be firmer, stronger? Not that i can see or even feel of, so far.
There are just too many expectations to meet. I am not cater to everyone nor am i able to please everyone.
I was at KPO with the group of them last week and i always feel that, drinking is bad for health but each time i am at it, especially with them, i seems to get smashed for a real reason. You know what is e REAL booze they believe in? Wine.
Anyhow, i m now a Blackberry user. I still love iPhone as my entertaining conpanion dun get me wrong. Sometimes we need a switch, is just like saying, you can't always be having fun. Theres always a serious substance to take care of. Ah that was just some random interlink! DUN GET TOO SERIOUS! ;)
As usual, Bb never fail to take care of me inside outside. Even when it comes to wants and needs. He got me the Blackberry, by hook or by crook, in any means. Not that i am drawing it big, but i can never deny how important this big piece to the formation of me really matters.
National Day's accomplishment? I slept alot. I din even on the TV for any special program. We literally rot the time off sleeping and watching movies and practically, wasting time away.
Trust me, i needed that very much.
Back to shit, i was expecting emails and more emails today. I dunno when was e last time i can step in on dot or later than 9am and leave on dot and later than 6pm.
I get shit from work, i get shit from school, i get shit from home.
Believe me when i said, i was fucking happy when i came back with no one at home. Believe me when i say one day i be coming home and enjoy the time and place of my own or with only people i love. Because i am as good as myself now anyway. I dun remember having a home if anyone could kindly define me a H O M E.
Oops, once again, not that i am having a broken family, not that i am having a bad relationship with my family. NONE of those. Just that i guess everyone have a definition of their own of a home. So when it doesn't tally with mine as of now, i regard as i do not have one.
I need a rest. Good night.
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