Both of my best friends have just snipped their hair off. Honestly, what on earth had just gotten into their head i really dunno. But one thing for sure, they looked awesomely chic!
Maybe they are like giving me that particular vibe that i should also make a change with my hair too.
I ran out of vocabulary to really fully entirely describe my last week. It wasnt fantastic, it wasnt head wracking as well. But it was just indescribable. Might be some unbalanced all in all feel and arranagment set for me from time to time in point to point of my life.
I know what im in, where its heading, how its ending (eventually), for everything, anything, everyone, anyone and me.
I know which is real which is not. Just that up till today i am still learning to differentiate, to cope and to balance out the unbalanced. Its at such a stage whereby Sakina thinks that it may not be entirely a bad thing, but hell knows what this gonna turn me into for the long run.
I kinda had such sufficient shit for the part years and im so so glad that i start to access pple in a way like, "YOU? ONCE IS MORE THAN ENOUGH FOR YOU. OK I READ U, SO NOW SCRAM."
Hyperactive, always-happy, crazy and fun and anything else that interlink me with what pple just see superficially on me, are just so not right to put it on me. If you know me well enough, you know where im driving at. If you don't, go ahead and label me any of those, i realised i got numb about it already.
If im given a wish to make it true, I sincerely wish time can pass faster at Baby's side. I need him with me like 24/7, just like the usual us.
Im feeling so alone most of the times, feeling lonely, feeling aimless, feeling unwanted (wholeheartedly).
When im scared, when i want to cry, when all i want is just to have him to move on my every single day with me physically and mentally, he is just so near yet so far. I know how much he really wants it too but time isnt allowing us to. However, i cant deny hes coping well enough for me to not cope it better. :)
How long more to go and what would it turn out to be of e outcome for everything, i am so not certain at some point of time and am frightfully dread to even think about it. This is seriously feeling like, half dead. I really meant half dead!
I would rather be dead kind.
Anyway i hate school so much but i keep reminding myself the importance of finishing it and to really get it done and over with, especially now that i have Sakina here with me.
But again, someone in there just appeared and i am so so so stepping back. That aura is so wrong and similiar..
Work is killing me. I thought work don't comes with age? Much that they are trying not to, but i know they are. Suddenly i hate myself for being young.
But im hanging on.
I spent money like i have never seen money before. This is how much my past years have gotten me into, into the the state of confusement!
I spent i treat i pay i clear, but i haven buy.
Now, im looking forward to the next pay. Its only the beginning of the second week of the month.
Soon enough, i be ghostly enough for anyone to handle.
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