First Half of 2010

All the times i wonder what had gotten into me and what exactly is not right with me.
I dunno how long more to go in that SIM, i dunno how long more to reach my Better Days. And i dunno how long more for me to feel settled.

I decided to take out a bit of time here in office to blog and while munching away my Hello Kitty cookie.
Her ears gone, im about to eat up her features..

Today's wednesday and also the last day of June.
Half a year has passed with a snap of finger which also calls for Boar's wedding bells to ring SOON~
I cant wait for next week to come because i will start to see my bank inflow and outflow of money.
Expenses and debts are already line in line waiting for me to clear even before the actual inflow comes.
Estimated and almost 3/4 be gone.

Time is always running out for me and time seems too short for me ever since this 9-6 started 2years later.
How come i dun recall feeling so back then? Simple, because people change! Expectations change! Almost everything change which tat also includes aging..

Imy imy imy.
Imyt!
Do majority humans for real only cares about for NOW and not for LONG?
I am not in that statistic u noe.
I have always wanted all human relationship to last as long as eternity. Eternity sounds inane but fact is who doesnt want a long lasting connection?! It just means you be never alone. Much that the "alone time" i strongly believe in still exists..

What i am now is indirectly built out by a few significant and prolly those insignificant ones as well. From the awesome ones to the fucked up ones whom eventually becomes the insignifcant ones at the end. Their significance value only lasted throughout a short period which in turn allows me to see and equip myself with as much as i can.
Thank you fucked up people who once appeared.
And of cos my most sincerely deep hearted thank you to the sweet ones. For as long as they can stay in my life. Or my life allows them to..

Often said, to always cherish the people around us. I do miss ones who once came into my life and gone within a snap. I miss ones who never fails to be there for me despite how drastically i evolved. I miss ones who may or may not be with me all e times but when appear, never fail to make me feel that they actually and really cares.
All in all, i miss everyone in my life. But sad to noe and sad to say, i cant keep everyone, cant have everyone.
Gradually i start to know what it truly meant by "enjoy while it last".
Which is something i never enjoy to enjoy. All of us are selfish. So what gonna make me the exception?
Living in denial and always rotating around the contradiction circle has always being my so called forte. And i pretty much can conclude that this could be the possible reason of my non stop HITS in life.

Thinking that i be done with school by now, disappointment just got to strike me as and when and never leaves me!
I can only go by a step a time at my own pace.

Let me hope for the very very best once again for the next half of our 2010.